I wish to advice motorists that the dangerous road conditions on the R212 outside Ballyhaise have now been brought to an end, as the rough and flying stones have now been rolled, thus allowing drivers a smooth entry. Ah. The power of the Internet! No wonder they want to ban it in China.
It gives me great pleasure to say that my name and that of my father have been re-entered on the electoral register, therefore allowing us both to participate in the forthcoming presidential elections by means of our postal votes. I want to offer my deep and sincere gratitude to Ms Annas Cartlin of Cavan County Council for helping to bring this about and for putting to an end a truly absurd situation which was not of her doing.
The farcical situation by which our postal votes were removed was brought about by the entire3ly unreasonable actions of the Department of the Environment. In 2010 they issued new regulations requiring that those who had postal votes must re-apply for them, together with a medical certificate testifying to their disability or infirmity. It is quite possible that some overpaid and demented mandarin actually believed that there were people who had postal votes on the grounds of disability who were as fit as fiddles, maybe dancing jigs at crossroads or auditioning for the Irish version of Nnja Warrior. Miracles may happen but the sad fact is that once you get some condition that limits your mobility you’re stuck with it, the only way is down, and it’s up to you to come to terms with it. So the idea that you had to then prove you were a cripple to a group of lazy bureaucrats who get stressed out if they have to walk too far down to the underground car park below their plush offices, is rather insulting, not to say insensitive.
I sometimes wonder why these civil servants in the ministries are so misanthropic, Are they born like that and only recruited once they are able to offer signed testimony of pulling off butterflies’ wings or torturing kittens? Or do they undergo a special period of “training” where they are brainwashed into seeing that “The General Public” as “the enemy”, to be frustrated at all costs? This might include subliminal psychological manipulation, where each time the simple greeting “Hallo” or “Good Morning” is uttered in their direction they receive an electric shock. I think the answer may be simpler. Most of the senior civil servants’ arses are ravaged by chronic piles, the sad though inevitable result of sitting on their derrieres for decades. Now we are talking about mega haemorrhoids which reflect their status within their departments. They are there for life and no amount of Preparation H, Tucks, or sitting over steaming colanders of boiling salt water can help. Their daily existences are filled with excruciating agony which can only be assuaged by issuing silly directives targeting imagined enemies and fraudsters. Now I may seem to be talking the piss here, but I know what I’m talking about. Trust me, I’m a doctor! Senior civil servants don’t like coming out of the shadows, but occasionally some pesky Dail committee requires their presence; next time you see a secretary general watch and observe how he sits stock still. Any movement, to left or right would only set off old Nobby.
It is rumoured that members of some of those kinky right-wing Catholic lay organisations with Latin names are behind a recent decision of the Vatican’s Sacred Congregation of Rites to name St Norbert of Xanten as the patron saint of Irish Civil Servants.
Motorists travelling to Cavan should be advised that part of the R212 outside the village of Ballyhaise is not only unsafe but positive dangerous.
Cavan County Council laid a new surface on the road in the early part of July consisting of chippings and small stones. The only warning they gave to motorists was a sign telling of “Flying Stones”. Such a sign may have its place on a Sony Playstation arcade game, but it is rare to see it on an Irish road, as it is rarely necessary. Many thought that the air-borne stones were a temporary phenomenon, lasting until such time as the surface was rolled. However, a Cavan County Council employee has told me that the council has no intention of rolling the surface. Some of these stones are quite large, and are capable of smashing a windscreen, not to mention doing serious and unsightly damage to a car’s bodywork. Already there has been an alarming rise in the number of punctured tyres by people using the road.
Let me stress: this is NOT a joke. No one, least of all the untouchables of Cavan County Council will be laughing if there is a serious accident caused by a stone fracturing a driver’s windscreen, an event which could cause injury or worse.
The County Council, along with local government bodies elsewhere, has a duty of care at law to preserve roads in a manner that does not cause danger to users, and any failure to do this may be viewed as negligence on the council’s part. I therefore urge anyone who has used this part of the road and who have suffered damage to their vehicles, to consider suing Cavan County Council. (Naturally I understand that this might be difficult in Co. Cavan itself, where many of the solicitors are not only incompetent but are, to coin a phrase, “up the council’s arse”.)
The AA (Automobile Association) hasn’t mentioned this because they haven’t been told about it. During last year’s inclement weather they were dependant on the local Gardai to keep them informed about
local road conditions, as well as information from members of the public.
Viewers of long-running soap opera Coronation Street in the early 1990s may remember a character called Brendan Scott, played by British TV actor Milton Johns. He was, I think, an area manager for supermarket chain Betabuys and was the scourge of Curly Watts and his boss Rambling Reg Holdsworth. Apart from the shared name I don’t see any link between the above and what follows, apart from the fact that Mr Johns once played the role of Adolf Eichmann.
It seems to me that there is a certain historian whose friends seem to have nothing better to do than surf the Internet looking for anything that might show him up for what he is. So they visit my website a lot and read pages which have those magical words “Brendan Snott” in the title. A;ternatively they search for anything about that haemorrhoid on the face of Co. Cavan, the “Cavan County Museum”. You know my blog contains lots of other material reflecting my widespread abilities and interests, but these human cockroaches would find some of my posts too challenging. I’ve got a message for them.
I know what you’re looking at, and who you are. Why don’t you find something nearer to your tastes like some kiddy porn, or something on your intellectual kevel like the Cartoon Channel? So fuck off!!!
I find it reprehensible that the greatest lawyer in the land has been invited to have anything to do with the fleadh in Cavan. When were the blueshirts friends of traditional music? They were too busy singing hymns or practising the Horst Wesel Lied. But then I forget that Cavan has been taken over by Fine Gael. They’ve got three seats here as well as controlling the county council, many of whose employees are sympathisers. I suppose Kenny may take the salute as volunteers dressed in new blue shirts supplied by Tesco march past on their way to fight communism in Spain. There may very well be a special version of God Save the Queen for the button accordion. Other tunes to be performed include “Kenny’s Two-step” and “Lament for Roscommon County Hospital”, a haunting air telling of deceit and betrayal.
As a true republican I know I wouldn’t be welcomed there It all makes perfect sense now – the only historians that have been invited to take part in the fleadh must have an unimpeachable Fine Gael pedigree.
… and to those who might say “Isn’t it a shame Ciaran can’t write something better…” let me answer in the letters used by Kevin Bloody Wilson – DILLIGAF
The government’s good news department has announced that Ireland’s bee keepers can look forward to a cash windfall of 300,000 euro from Europe, as well as matching funding from the Irish Exchequer. Now isn’t that grand lads? Of course, there is something fitting, as let’s face it the people of Ireland have been stung by this government.
A black an' yella bastard
I recall how a local politician, a political man from Kilnaleck got a whole lot of grants for keeping bees in the early ‘80s. This man was the proprietor of the famous Copper Kettle which has more recently started to cater for a more alternative crowd (It’s now entitled to call itself The Copper Butt-plug.). Any, the local politician’s foray into apiculture went well for a while, but then, as a friend of mine from Kilnaleck described it with such breath-taking literary élan”…didn’t Lovett go on the beer and forget to feed the fuckin’ beers, an’ didn’t the black and yella bastards swarm lad.” Therein lies a lesson for us all.
Many people are shocked at the lack of political judgement being displayed by Conor Lenihan in launching a book written by some
Wanna banana?
flat-earther aiming to rubbish evolution. Lenihan claims he’s doing it as a favour to a constituent and doesn’t know what the fuss is about. Speaking as a published author I have encountered great difficulty in getting serving cabinet minister to even attend my book-launches. It is far more common for the minister’s constituency secret, usually a civil servant on secondment, to be sent instead to express the minister’s crocodiles tears for not being able to make it in person, and thus leave me with the impression that he has far more important things to do than launch books.
I thought that the Lenihans, of all people, would be fervent Darwinists. Does the family not prove how intelligence and ability to exploit natural resources will be replicated in the success of certain species over others?
A recent report quoted by the UN has highlighted the growth of a divide between rich and poor countries when it comes to broadband access. It highlights, in particular, how the price of a fixed-line broadband line in the Central African Republic amounts to something like forty times the country’s average monthly wage. This is compared with most western countries where broadband access, as well as being more readily available, is much cheaper.
But we in the “developed” world, especially Ireland, need not feel too smug about this. There are certain broadband blackspots in Irelanmd, such as the area aroundf Miltown and Baker’s Bridge Co. Cavan. Residents here cannot get a broadband link “for love or money”. Instead they are told to be satisified with dial-up connections, using telephone lines which are antiquated and which carry an annoying beat making them useless for voice communicationn let alone high-speed data. There is the possibility of gaining broadband access by mobile ‘phone, but this is prohibitively expensive, and it would no doubt work out at way above forty times the amount I’m expected to live in by this corrupt government.
One other costly alternative is to buy broadband access via satellite from a company like ABB Telecom based in Kinnegad. The only problem is that, after getting the money for the service and equipment up front, these are never delivered. I know – I swallowed the saccharine balderdash of their web page last February, and no satellite dish was delivered,. Instead ABB Telecom attempted (unsuccessfuly) to extract a monthly fee from my bank account for a service which wasn’t being delivered. It’s now September and I’m still trying to get my money back. I’ve been left out of pocket forsix months for a service which is not being delivered and which probably was never going to be delivered in the first place.
This month sees the re-launch of Cavan Adult Education’s range of evening classes, and to the fore will be the usually over-subscribed “Basic Potty training for Adults”. Last year there was anger when it emerged that employees of the County Council had been secretly awarded places ahead of the general Public, and that they were not expected to pay the full fees.
In an attempt to provide appropriate courses fitted to people’s needs, a special course is to be offered for senior managers who have problems who lack basic numeracy skills. The problem was highlighted by the recent budget overruns associated with the fleadh, and then by a recent survey which showed that the problem was widespread. amongst senior highly-paid management, and not confined, as had previously been thought, to janitors. The course will start with an introduction to the numbers, followed by simple arithmetic using the fingers. Course participants will then migrate to learning tables. Those who pass the course successfully will then be able to start working with calculators
It is hoped that this course will be more successful than previous ones which aimed to help senior executives in local government with low literacy and letter writing skills. It transpires that even after completing previous courses many participants were not able to type even simple salutations on keyboards. Instead they were only able to scratch simple words like “cat” and “shit” in chalk or crayon on toilet and lift walls in the County Council offices. What’s more, when presented with a letter they fell back into old behavioural types, preferring to play “Spot the Ball”. Alternatively they would seek to gain the identity of the person who had written to them and who deserved a reply, and spread vile and unsubstantiated rumours about them. It is said that the walls of their offices (which reek of the nauseating odour of Preparation H)are festooned with photocopies of press photographs showing football players looking blankly into space, upon which lines in red and black ink have been drawn.
Ciaran's Peculier [sic] Blog 