Enda’s porkies

by planetparker

So an taoiseach Enda Kenny has finally been outed as a purveyor of porky pies. What is his excuse? “Ah well, sure I heard about  the hospital and they were all sorta cheerin’ like an’ I lost the head.” Maybe like John A. Costello, on declaring Ireland a republic, Enda had had a few. Maybe he is like a former taoiseach, no names mentioned, whose truthfulness was brought into question by a mutual friend who said: “Yan fella will always say what he thinks ya wanta hear. Ya mightav bought a new car an’ he’d come up tya an shake your hand an’ say ‘That’s a powerful cyar yev just bought yerself’ even though the world might know it was a haip o’ shite”. Enda has been round the houses long enough by now. He’s the father of the Dail. He’s not like some neophyte TD full of aspirations, who promises free condoms (of any flavour) every week, a free orgasm each month, all under the slogan “A vote for me is a shag for you.”. But once elected a sordid reality check kicks in. The new boy (and I’m not being sexist here. Most women know it already) discovers that he is only a member of the legislature, the poor relation amongst the powers (Did someone say Powers? Thanks, with lots of ice) and that the real power in the land are the un-elected heads of Civil Service Departments, parastatals and other associated quangos. No, the fact is Enda’s only defence is to sing that song beloved of Morecombe & Wise. “Why did you believe me when I said I loved you when you know I’ve been a liar all my life?”