Lie to me

by planetparker

A few months’ ago Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore promised that there would be no further cuts in social welfare payments in the forthcoming budget, and unfortunately many people believed them. As for Kenny the only people who believe anything that comes out of that joker’s mouth is The Vatican, and we all know what a shower of pricks they are. As for Eamon Gilmore (yawn) he’s making me feel very old. I remember when he was a sticky.

 Minister for Social Victimisation Joan Burton has commitment issues, as she can’t make a commitment that there will not be cuts in benefits. She is talking some gibberish about getting greater value for money. What does she mean? One way would be to make the unemployed work for their dole by taking part in road gangs, or maybe cleaning out ministers’ gardens. Her department has long believed in the criminalisation of poverty and the first step towards this will be mandatory fingerprinting of all dole recipients, ostensibly in the interests of stamping out on that great evil Social Welfare Fraud. Done away with will be the nonsense that people are entitled to welfare benefits. It will be spelled out in no uncertain terms, that ALL welfare benefits are discretionary and are only to be made at the discretion of an employee of the Department. (Legislation to this effect already exists, having been passed by the last government but no one seems to have noticed it.) As for special benefits like the blind pension they may be made only to those people who prove unambiguously that they are totally blind by attempting to cross a busy road or street in the face of on-coming traffic, while unmarried mothers will be offered a choice between sterilization or having their children forcibly adopted and brought up by known abusers. This may sound tough, but it is only by tough decisions that our budget deficit will be reduced and our nation made safe for spivs to live in.

 The minister is being insincere, as any attempt to introduce greater value for money will be conducted by her own departmental officials who are part of the Civil Service, where work is an unwelcome activity that occasionally breaks out between coffee breaks or maternity leave, not to mention Flexitime – the phenomenon whereby nobody need be at their desks at any particular time. If the minister were sincere about introducing greater value for money in her department she’d downsize her staff. Who would employ those who would lose their jobs? There is only a limited demand in Ireland for lion tamers and snake charmers.

 The funny thing is that Joan Burton showed no such commitment issues when she got into bed with the blueshirts; she must have been aware that she was going to get fucked. She may not have realised that she was going to get fucked up the ass, not only by Kenny’s gang, but by her own party. She felt miffed at only getting the portfolio of Social Victimisation – widely seen as a poisoned chalice. I believe that it should be seen as an important ministry, not like the Cinderella portfolio of say Defence. Joan Burton is a clever and articulate person, and such a person is needed to face down the neo-fascists in that department. Yet I hope that she is prepared to fight to defend the rights of those who, like myself, are dependant on benefit payments. I fear that an Italian proverb is coming true. Chi va con lo zoppo impara zoppicare, Whoever walks with the lame learns to limp, or in the case under discussion is returned to, if your work involves dealing with a pack of inveterate liars you soon develop an elastic attitude towards the truth.

 If the Blind Pension is reduced for yet a third tune many blind people will be reduced to selling lottery tickets in the street as in Spain, or maybe begging at corners. The response of the voluntary organisations would no doubt be to urge the blind to relocate to special hostels where they would be fed on a diet of scraps and food donated by the public. My response would be to take to the streets and I would not be the only one.